‘You can get over this’ – Ex-Mormons describe how NZ church protected abusers, not victims

Episode 3 of Heaven’s Helpline examines how bishops in the NZ Mormon church respond to abuse allegations. Illustration / Paul Slater
Podcast series Heaven’s Helpline reveals how credible reports of child sexual abuse and domestic violence vanish into a system of church leaders, lawyers and secret courts within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In episode three, Murray Jones reports on how the church has pressured members to keep things in-house – creating a system that helps shield abusers and disregards victims.
The family home of a Mormon couple, the dormitory of young missionaries and a bishop’s office in Auckland.
The scenes of everyday Mormon life. But also, the scenes of three of the many horrific cases of sexual abuse that I have come across during my investigation into the LDS church.
I spoke to Jenny, who alleges that she was sexually assaulted by an elderly male church member when she was just 10 years old.
Her bishop had asked her to help the old man do some cleaning. One time Jenny asked a friend to come with her, hoping it would provide some sort of protection – but instead, the man molested both her and the friend.
When Jenny told her mother, she was taken to the bishop to explain.
In his office, the bishop asked Jenny’s mother to leave the room, and the door was locked from the inside. Then the bishop instructed her to tell him what had happened at the man’s house, but to make it crystal clear, she needed to demonstrate it – on him, the bishop.
I met Jade*. On the night Jade discovered her husband had been sexually abusing her young sister – a child – over many years, the couple had an emergency meeting with their bishop. He counselled her to stay with her husband, as Mormons believe couples who marry in the temple will stay together in the afterlife.
“You can get over this, it’s more important to focus on eternal life,” she recalls the bishop telling her.
Jade followed her bishop’s counsel and stayed with her husband. This would lead to further years of pain and emotional torment as her husband, who was also violently abusive towards her, was protected by church leaders, given merely a slap on the wrist by the in-house “church court” disciplinary system and even promoted into senior church callings.
“I look at it now from a Te Ao Māori point of view, and they were really pumping his mana, giving him the power to feel like he hadn’t done anything wrong,” says Jade.
I also spoke to Neville Rochow – an Australian KC who has held several senior leadership positions in the church. He became aware of multiple alleged incidents of a young missionary raping his New Zealand male peer.
Neville investigated and, along with other church leaders, was confident the complaint was valid.
However, once the alleged perpetrator was sent back home, his hometown leader decided to take the accused’s denial at face value. The alleged rapist was allowed to be set loose in his community.
All these stories disturbed me deeply and are told in much more detail in episode three of Heaven’s Helpline.
The nature of the abuse and the positions of power that were taken advantage of were all different.
But what was common throughout was the centrality of church leaders – particularly the bishop.
So who are these men? Why are they so involved in members’ lives? And do their actions help the church keep crimes secret?
We sought comment from the LDS church in response to the allegations discussed in this episode. The church did not address the allegations directly, but in a statement said: “As followers of Jesus Christ, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints abhor abuse of any kind. As a church, we invest heavily on prevention and response; and will continue to do so.
“Our priority is the welfare of the victim and following the law of the land with respect to the abuser facing the consequences of their actions.” The full statement from the church can be read here.
*not her real name
Heaven’s Helpline is available at iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. The series was made with the support of NZ On Air. For more on this series, go to nzherald.co.nz/heavenshelpline.